Secret of the heart
by Lady Evania
Summary: Oneshot.Avania tries to face the demons of her past and present, but can't help but feel she is already lost...and there is only one person that can set her free.... but will he?KCxBishop


Avania was staring at the silvery moon, lost in her memories and thoughts, she didn't notice the figure standing behind her in the shadows. Falling to her knees, Avania whispered in a hollow voice: "Xunus Usstan rin'ou inbal natha detholir?"

A single tear started falling down her Ebony cheek, she closed her eyes and all she could see was death...everywhere she went death seamed to follow, either done by her own hands or by other parties wishing her dead. But she always survived, and others payed the price in her stead.

West Harbor had been attacked by the gith, because they had been searching for the shard hidden in the ruins, it didn't mather that she hadn't know that is was connected to her at the time, she knew now...all those people dead...Amie. The gith had never stopped haunting her, they seamed to come in an endless stream, but she and her companions had killed each and everyone that came, and she hadn't felt any remorse when she had watched their life fade from their eyes, instead she had felt a secret pleasure in ending their lives, at first hiding behind the excuse that they deserved it for what they had done at West Harbor...it might have been true at first, but not when she took just has much pleasure in killing the orc's at Old Owl Well, sure she might have been ordered to go there, but no one had asked her to wipe out two orc clans, not leaving even one alive, she had felt more and more alive for each orc she had cute down. She had stared getting really good at killing as well, falling into the shadows and sneaking up behind her pray and killing them even before they knew she was there...and when they finally realist she was there it was to late and their eyes would be filled with fear and that fear made her feel strong. Her use of magic came in handy as well, she had learned a lot from Tarmas, thou he had always been a reluctant teacher, and never approved of her rouge talents, but now see Sand had taught her a few things as well...and she had harnest it to kill fast but it didn't mean she would make it hurt any less. She could still hear their screams, and it still made her smile with satisfaction.

A cold chill ran down her spine at the thought of what she had become, "_oh my goddess, now I am truly yours..._"Avanis thought as a last tear ran down her cheek. She had always keeped her religion a secret in West Harpor, none of them would understand why she was drawn to the Lady of loss...well maybe her father, but she douth'it. A sadistic smile crossed her face when she thought of Daeghun, he had always been so cold, yet he had tried to be a good father, somewhere she knew he had tried, but she also knew he couldn't forgive her for the deaths of his wife and her own mother...how ironic, even that young and death had been a part of her... thou he had hurt her in return, maybe more then he knew...but he had also helped her find her goddess, the smile grew big at the thought.

Avania had hated growing up in West Harpor, she was Drow and the people there had never let her forget how different she was, "_well I guess some of the resentment might be my own fault_", she thought with a sad smile. She had loved playing tricks on people, some harmless enough, but when she got angry they could get a little of out hand. Like that time, she had been really angry at Ward Mossfeld, she couldn't remember why now, but she had lured him into the swamp alone, told him she wanted to be alone with him so they could have some fun together, 'course she had never shown up and he had been attacked by a lizardling and only just gotten away. She started laughing a cold laughter, Daeghun had given her a long cold look after Ward had told everyone why he had been in the swamp, he hadn't said anything to her, but his look had shown all to well how disappointed he was in her, "_it's strange how he could always make me feel so small, just with a look of disapproval_", Avania thought as she rubed a hand over her tired eyes, "_what I wouldn't have given for one kind word...one smile that showed that he cared for me...that I wasn't just a burden...and a consented reminder of what he had lost_"but he had never showed any feelings, not said any word that showed her, that she was imported to him, never a sign at all, "_yet I am sure he must have cared for me a little, or am I still just that fool little girl that still longs for her fathers love?_".

Sighing she took of her braces and started to unstrap her leather armor and pulled it of and placed it close by her on the grown, only in her purple tunic she leaned closer to the pond and looked at her reflection. She looked older then her 124 years, she reached up and released her hair from the knot it had been held in so it could fall down her shoulders down to her waist. Her hair was white with a hint of purple, just like her eyes, she looked away from her eyes, she didn't want to see the sorrow reflected in them, she let her eyes look over her high cheek bones, small nose and slime jaw line...she knew that human males where attracted to her, she had seen it alot of times, since she had come to Neverwinter, well after they got use to having a Drow around the city, she laugh to herself. But there was only one that had chauth her eye...his eyes had drawn her in, most of the time they where cold and mocking or filled with anger...other times, when he thought he was unseen, he looked almost haunted, she knew that look, but not as such a burden as he did, but she knew it. His brown eyes always seam to be on her, following every move she made...and she loved it. For some reason, they never talked much and when they did it was always in a moking or a cold way, only agreeing when it came to the deaths of cowards and such, but what wasn't spoken in words they said in the looks they shared with each other, and it hadn't taken them long after he joined their party to find time and places to seek warmth in each other, she didn't know his reasons for seeking her, nor did she care...

Against her will she met her own eyes in the pond again, the sorrow still burning in her eyes, she smiled to her reflection. " Ele ji numl? Xuat dos zhaun nindol zhah udossta eluith'orth? " She asked her self in a low voice, she closed her eyes and anwsered in a whisper: " Udos ph'zuch zet rathrea, xor fris tarthe, noa zhah natha aglust d'udossa 'zil udos ph'aglust d'udossta Quar'valsharess."

Suddenly she tensed up, she could feel someone was close, as she opened her eyes she wasn't surprised to see Bishop's reflection in the water looking at her. She didn't move as he came closer, but met his eyes in the water...there was something there, something he wanted to say but couldn't, or he just wouldn't let himself, he sat down behind her and his hand moved up into her hair, took hold and pull her head backwards, forcing her to expose her long thin necks full length. He met her eyes and just looked at her for a while, shadows dancing over his face and eyes, then he bent down and started to kiss her. Avania moved her hands op and grabbed his hair and pulled it a little harder then she had to, Bishop growled in response and bit her lower lip, and moved his hands to cup her head in his hands, forcing her mount open and invaded her mouth with his tongue, Avania let out a soft moan. He pulled her closer, until she leaded against his chest, and moved his hands down to her waist and let his hands move under her tunic and up to her breasts, Avania gasped in his mouth, her hands pulling harder on his hair, she pulled her lips away from his, and turned so she could placed soft kisses on his jaw and chin, before sundering her lips back to him. Bishop move around her, pushing her down on her back, placeing one hand on each side of her and kissed her deeply before he slowly started to remove their clothing, letting kisses trace down her neck to her breats, he parted her legs with a knee and let his hand find the heat of her passion. Avania felt new tears working their ways to her eyes, she loved these moments, even as few as they where, she felt hole when Bishop was in her arms...yet she knew, she wouldn't have him for long. Just as Bishop entered her, she whispered with closed eyes, " Dos orn tlu l'streea d'uns'aa elg'hasek, quin usstan k'jakr ssinssrigg dos". She felt he froze for a second, then he moved his lips to her pointed left ear, gave her a small soft bite, before he gave her half an answers, " I wont let you be mine..."

For a few moments, neither of them moved and everything was silent, then Avania let her hands move back up to his hair and pulled his hair until he met her eyes, and for a few moments they just looked at each other, her eyes searching, his eyes not showing any of his thoughts, a new tear ran down her cheek and she gave him half a smile and kissed his lips softly, " I know you wont" was all she said, Bishop looked confused at her, and it looked like it might say something more, but Avainia didn't want to talk anymore, she wanted to feel, so she started to kiss him again first slowly then more demandely, not letting him pull back. _Lost in life, it is the calling of my Goddess, and so shall be my death... _

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A/N: This is set, after Avania comes to the keep, but before The sword of Gith it reasembeld.

Disclamer: I do not own any of the NWN2 storie nor Bishop, only Avania is mine. Plz R&R thanks.

_Transtation Drow to Common:_

_Xunus Usstan rin'ov inbal natha detholir? Did I ever have a choice?_

_Ele ji numl? Xuat dos zhaun nindol zhah udossta eluith'orth? Why so sad? Don't you know this is our faith?_

_Udos ph'zuch zet rathrea, xor fris tarthe, noa zhah natha aglust d'udossa 'zil udos ph'aglust d'udossta Quar'valsharess_ We are always left behind, or sent away, lose is a part of us as we are part of our Goddess

_Dos orn tlu l'streea d'uns'aa elg'hasek, quin usstan k'jakr ssinssrigg dos_: You will be the death of me ranger, yet I still love you


End file.
